Transition Year

Today, I turned 29. As far as birthdays go, it was uneventful. I spent the morning at the mechanic, wishing things on my 15-year-old car that would make even the most seasoned sailor blush. Then I picked up a piece of cake for breakfast to cheer myself up.

Chocolate Mousse Marble Cake
AMAZING.

After a few phone calls and some extra birthday snuggles from Cleo, I drove two hours to work and enjoyed a beautiful, peaceful dinner break on my favorite San Francisco pier. Not an exciting birthday, but I have no complaints either.

Birthday dinner view.
Not too bad, right?

While talking to my mom this morning, she asked me, "So, how does it feel to be 29?" I told her it felt a lot like 28. But upon further reflection, that's not the case at all, thank goodness.

I'm actually glad I finally get to leave 28 behind. Because - to be frank - the past year was pretty rotten. I didn't know it then. On July 21, 2013, everything was coming up roses. The day started with a brunch that involved three of my all-time favorite things: good friends, bottomless mimosas and the best sausage gravy in town. I had just met someone the night before. I spent the day catching up with loved ones on the phone. It was a Sunday, so I didn't have to work. And I ended my birthday, laughing with more friends over dinner.

Little did I know that in the weeks/months that followed, La Vie En Rose would turn blue. I battled a severe bout of homesickness. That guy I met made me feel worse about myself than anyone ever has. I started having anxiety attacks that would sideline me for hours. I had a career crisis. My car starting falling apart. Basically, 28 sucked. Big Time.

But here's the thing: once you get through all the truly terrible stuff, it gives you some great perspective. Getting past all those obstacles - and not letting them break my spirit - made me a stronger person. Being away from my family for so long made me realize how important it is that I find a way to get home. Spending time with someone so toxic helped me realize what I really want from a relationship and that walking away is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself. While trying to manage my panic attacks, I learned not only that I wasn't alone in dealing with anxiety, but that I had an even stronger support system in my friends and colleagues than I had ever imagined. Finally coming to terms with the fact that I was unhappy with my career allowed me to open my mind to the idea of something new and get excited about it. As for my car....nope...no perspective there...I still just want to send it off a cliff. In a lot of ways, my 28th year actually made me a stronger, more confident person. But I'm still more than happy to leave it in the past.

A friend of mine turned 29 a few months ago. He calls it his "Transition Year." The year when you transition from your 20s to your 30s. The year when you get your shit together so you can go into your 30s feeling good about your life instead of feeling scared. (Ok, I may be taking some creative license here - I don't know if that's exactly what he means, but that's how I'm looking at it.) And that's what I want to do - spend the next year taking care of myself and setting myself up for success and happiness in my 30s.

There are a lot of things I want to accomplish during the next year. I want to find a job I love and begin a new career that's fulfilling. I want to lose the pounds I put on from stress-eating and get back to a healthy weight. I want to get myself on a more solid financial footing. I want to cook more. I want to get enough sleep. I want to see my family at least twice. And I want to retire my stupid car once and for all.

It's a long to-do list, but I know I can handle it with the right attitude. Attitude is everything and mine hasn't been ideal lately. So I'm kicking off 29 with a simple change that I hope will inspire many more. I am going to be more positive. The things I went through at 28 killed some of my optimism and I want it back. So beginning tonight, I'm instituting a new, two-part life change. First, I'm going to stop myself from making at least one silly complaint every day. Second, I'm going to identify one thing each day that makes me happy. Today, it's my friends and family. Their thoughtful birthday phone calls, texts and social media messages made me feel incredibly loved and for that, I am incredibly grateful.

Don't worry - the snark, sass and sarcasm that define my sense of humor aren't going anywhere. I'm just making room for some new voices in my head.