Supply & Demand

Ladies & Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. After two weeks of unemployment, I have taken a big step. I have moved into a new home:

Home Sweet Home

Yep, that's right - the paper products area at Target. Okay, so I'm not sleeping on the bulk packages of toilet paper (although it would probably be pretty soft). But being home all day has changed me into a very different kind of consumer.

Many of the things I used to do at work during the day - eat my breakfast, drink my coffee, eat my lunch, use the bathroom, blow my nose - I now do at home. And then there are things I've been putting off that I'm finally getting around to, like deep-cleaning my apartment. Between these two changes alone, my supply is definitely not meeting demand. Let me show you what I mean.

This is now a fact of life at my place:

Can somebody pass me a few squares? 

I'm stealing napkins from coffee shops and fast-food joints like a career kleptomaniac.

Matching napkins are pretentious anyway, right?

And because I'm cleaning, THIS keeps happening!

That last wipe that's so soaked, you
have to wring it out. Gross.

I'm blowing through cheap paper towels like the "leading ordinary brand" in a Bounty commercial. 

Two sheets? Who are you kidding?!? It takes at least three.

Because I'm eating at home, I use more dishes. Which means running this guy more often.

I HATE doing dishes. Seriously.
I'd rather clean toilets.

And finally, I'm drinking more milk than a kid with a bucket of Oreos to dunk. 

Enough for my coffee, but not
enough for my cereal. #annoying

Needless to say, saving money while using more has proved challenging. So who wants to take me along the next time you make a Costco run?